Riding a Ducati is like having sex with an aerobics instructor - you know, I'm exhausted and panting and it's going: 'Are you done, already?'
Quote by Jay Leno:
Quotes by other comedians
I tell people that stand-up's like golf: you gotta do it every day to get it down - or at least three times a week to get it down.
I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.
I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.
I'm not religious anymore, but I think it's like papal infallibility, which is a ridiculous man-made tenet, like what I believe most religious tenets to be, are man-made after the fact.
Obviously the name of the show is a joke, a friend of mine gave it to me. But some people are very literal. Sometimes you see things like "He's not the smartest man in the world! All he does is drink." Well, they're not listening very closely.