Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.
Quote by Jay Mohr:
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I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
They had a sign, and it said, 'Do not allow your dog to chase, injury or worry wildlife.' I understand the chasing and injuring part, but how is a dog going to 'worry' wildlife? Dog's going to run up to a bird: 'Hey, I think you've got something on your beak. It could be a tumor.'
As you know, I'm from Cleveland, Ohio. I love Cleveland, Ohio. I based my whole career on being from Cleveland, Ohio. And you also might know that Cleveland, Ohio, is going through some tough times right now.
Boys and girls, maybe you should stay in the house if you're having trouble with the phrases 'hot' and 'tasty.'