I feel good. I'm much better. Actually, I just lost 10 pounds on a new diet called the flu. Has anyone tried that one out?
Quote by Jay Mohr:
Quotes by other comedians
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.
If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable?
I was asleep, in the upstairs bedroom, in the rear of the house. There was this tremendous crash, there was a terrible wind force hitting my body, and then I blanked out.
You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.