Quote by Jay Mohr:

I feel good. I'm much better. Actually, I just lost 10 pounds on a new diet called the flu. Has anyone tried that one out?

Comedian
Short bio
Jon Ferguson "Jay" Mohr is an American actor, comedian and radio host. He is known for his role as Professor Rick Payne in the TV series Ghost Whisperer, the title role in the CBS sitcom Gary Unmarried, as a featured cast member on the sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live and the back-stabbing sports agent Bob Sugar in Jerry Maguire.

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You might be a redneck if... your child's first words are 'Attention K-Mart shoppers!'

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.

My God! I beat a man insensible with a strawberry!