Quote by Jay Mohr:

I'm getting a hair cut this weekend and I'm gonna tell the guy straight up, "No fuckin' around make my hair shorter than when I came in!"

Short bio
Jon Ferguson "Jay" Mohr is an American actor, comedian and radio host. He is known for his role as Professor Rick Payne in the TV series Ghost Whisperer, the title role in the CBS sitcom Gary Unmarried, as a featured cast member on the sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live and the back-stabbing sports agent Bob Sugar in Jerry Maguire.

All quotes by Jay Mohr

Quotes by other comedians

Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?

Blacks and Mexicans do the dumbest shit. The dumbest genocide. Killing each other other fuckin' gang territory that doesn't even belong to us. But when its comes to those crazy "I'll kill 30 kids, bury them under my house and dress up like a clown", white people you take the cake on that shit... Of all the people who got fired from the post office and came to shoot the post office up, how many of them were Black or Mexican? None. And we get fired all the fucking time.

The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint.