Quote by George Carlin:

Make-believe cowboys. Closest they've ever gotten to a cow is when they stopped to take a piss at an Arby's.

Short bio
George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects.

All quotes by George Carlin

Quotes by other comedians

And you know that family, every few months, for years, from time to time, whatever it is they're doing they would just stop, stop and look at each other and go... what the fuck did they take?

My old man, I told him I'm tired of running around in circles. So he nailed my other foot to the floor.

New York is a funny place. I was at the coffee shop last week, and I'm paying the cashier for my cup of coffee, and the other girl got sprayed by the espresso machine with the hot milk. And her shirt was burning her, and so she just ripped it off. But she forgot she has no bra on, and so she just ran in the back. And the cashier looks at me and goes, 'That'll be an extra two bucks.'