Quote by Jeff Foxworthy:

Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to walk out onto the porch and go "Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna take a nap now."

Comedian
Short bio
Jeffrey Marshall Foxworthy is an American stand-up comedian, actor, television personality, radio personality and author. He is a member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, a comedy troupe which also comprises Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, and Ron White.

All quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

Quotes by other comedians

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This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.

Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.

I remember one guy gave her a good piece of his mind. Yeah, it was right after she took a good piece of his leg.

I cannot believe they haven't yet come up with a better screening process than the mammogram. If a man had to put his special parts inside a clamp to test him for anything, I think they would come up with a new plan before the doctor finished saying, "Put that thing there so I can crush it.