I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people. They're hanging in there with the chopsticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks. I don't know how they missed it. Chinese farmer gets up, works in the field with a shovel all day. Shovel. Spoon. Come on. You're not plowing 40 acres with a couple of pool cues!
Quote by Jerry Seinfeld:
Quotes by other comedians
Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn’t stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don’t know what he looks like.
I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
On Valentine’s Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
It's something that occurs to me many times in my movies. They can often be treated comically or dramatically, and I usually opt to treat them comically. But it occurred to me that you could get a story and you could fool around with it both ways.