Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? "Clear out everybody I'm workin with pills up here. I'm taking pills from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in a little bottle! That's my whole job.I can't be down on the floor with you people. Then I'm gonna type out, on a little piece of paper. And it's really hard."
Quote by Jerry Seinfeld:
Quotes by other comedians
Kids: If a bear is wearing a ranger hat, it's because he ate the ranger!
You can't talk about fucking in America, people say you're dirty. But if you talk about killing somebody, that's cool.
Tiger Woods is a billionaire. Do you know how much ass you can get with a billion dollars? I know guys with $20 and a pack of Newports who'd try to screw your whole neighborhood.
If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.'