Quote by Jerry Seinfeld:

Just what is the handicapped parking situation at the Special Olympics? Is it still just the two spaces?

Comedian
Short bio
Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing a semi-fictionalized version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David.

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The country’s 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much harder. The press can hold its magnifying up to our problems bringing them into focus, illuminating issues heretofore unseen or they can use that magnifying glass to light ants on fire and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected dangerous flaming ant epidemic. If we amplify everything we hear nothing.

It's botherin' me, man. You know, "you can't say this, you can't say that," I'm like, well, how am I gonna talk about the world? You know? I mean I need to talk about something to you all, can I - can I do it? Can I talk to y'all? I mean, I hope the kids are in bed, you know, because I got to talk, y'all.

You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

But some people want attention so bad they want you to see them angry at you.

Why are all the home-ec teachers divorced?