Quote by Jim Breuer:

Girls, do yourself a favor, don't ever bring us anywhere to pick anything out - ever, ever. You don't need us there.

Comedian
Short bio
James E. Breuer is an American stand-up comedian, actor, musician, and radio host. He was a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1995 to 1998 and starred in the film Half Baked.

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This guy from L. A. sits down next to me, and he says "you like baseball?" I said, "Oh, man, I love baseball." So he goes "Did you know that if Jesus had played ball, he'd have been the greatest ball player ever?" Like I'm gonna argue with that logic. So I sat there for a second, and then I said "did you know that if Babe Ruth had been the Messiah, the Catholics would have beer and hot dogs at Communion?" He left.

You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap!

A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush's dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father.

People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.