Quote by Joan Rivers:

Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum. "My God, the floor's immaculate! Lie down, you hot bitch."

Comedian
Short bio
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, known professionally as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host. She was noted for her often controversial comedic persona—heavily self-deprecating and sharply acerbic, especially towards celebrities and politicians.

All quotes by Joan Rivers

Quotes by other comedians

I was a typical kid. I dug holes in the yard, threw rocks, had plum battles with the neighbours and used trash can lids as shields. I was always outside getting dirty.

She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.

Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.

We could overcome the baser aspects of our nature... and give this planet the kind of caretakers it deserves.

If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.