Quote by Joan Rivers:

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips.

Short bio
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, known professionally as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host. She was noted for her often controversial comedic persona—heavily self-deprecating and sharply acerbic, especially towards celebrities and politicians.

All quotes by Joan Rivers

Quotes by other comedians

I'll put an emoticon at the beginning of a text because I don't give a fuck.

I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.

Radio... that wonderful invention by which I can reach millions of people... who fortunately can't reach me.

Here's the thing: If you're so far left you actually believe that somebody owes you a job, citizenship and a heart transplant, you're mentally ill. If you're so far right that you actually believe that somebody who doesn't have a job and is not a citizen deserves to have their heart cut out and sold on eBay, and you get to keep 80 percent of the profit - you're mentally ill.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.