Quote by Joan Rivers:

Madonna is so hairy - when she lifted her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.

Comedian
Short bio
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, known professionally as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host. She was noted for her often controversial comedic persona—heavily self-deprecating and sharply acerbic, especially towards celebrities and politicians.

All quotes by Joan Rivers

Quotes by other comedians

Not all children are smart and clever, got that? Kids are like any other group of people: a few winners... a whole lot of losers.

Now here's what I'm saying: I've always believed that every other month we hear about compromisation of bank records, I think that's the CIA and the FBI. Now let me tell you why I'm saying this. I don't believe no insignificant pip-squeak is going to be able to pull this off month after month and we can't find out what's going on.

Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

The truth is that God is to be found in all things - even and most especially in the painful, tragic and unpleasant things.