Quote by Joan Rivers:

Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.

Short bio
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, known professionally as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host. She was noted for her often controversial comedic persona—heavily self-deprecating and sharply acerbic, especially towards celebrities and politicians.

All quotes by Joan Rivers

Quotes by other comedians

Racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, "Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I'll go outside and have a cigarette." Racist people never go, "Do you mind if I'm racist? Oh, I'll go outside … fucking blue people, eh? Coming here, steal our hamsters…"

My old man took me to a freak show. They said, "Get the kid outta here. He's distracting from the show."

You might be a redneck if you’ve ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate."

People think being in your seventies means sitting around in a chair with a blanket over your legs, drooling.

Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.