You know how Van Nuys got its name? Well, one day my little old Jewish mother was visiting me, and I took her to the top of the Hollywood Hills and had her view the valley below just at sunset. "Well, mama, what would you call that?" And she said, "Ver nize."
Quote by Joey Bishop:
Quotes by other comedians
People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon...
I used to get drunk every night until I puked. Finally I admitted, “I am a bulemic”.
They say life begins at 50. Yeah, if you're the fuckin' Highlander.
I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.
I'd rather go ice fishing, which is the dumbest thing a man can do. You're sitting essentially in an out house and it's 30 below. You've cut a hole in the ice, and you're fishing for fish that you shouldn't eat, ‘cause any fish that is down there is fucking stupid.