Quote by Joey Bishop:

The other day I drove home filled with pride and a sense of achievement. I entered the house, and there was my mother. "Mama," I said proudly, "I have a new Corvette outside." Mama looked at me, shook her head and said sadly: "Please, Joey. Don't bring her in."

Comedian
Short bio
Joseph Abraham Gottlieb, known professionally as Joey Bishop, was an American entertainer who appeared on television as early as 1948 and eventually starred in his own weekly comedy series playing a talk/variety show host, then later hosted a late night talk show with Regis Philbin as his young sidekick on ABC.

All quotes by Joey Bishop

Quotes by other comedians

All television is an advertisement - that’s why it exists. It wasn’t the art-form first and then the commerce - it was that they could put on entertainment long enough to distract people into looking at products. It’s for focusing people on advertising and separating you from money in some way. Some people forget that. The side product is that we get some great eye candy. TV is the best it has ever been right now. I don’t have a problem with that since it’s what keep us employed.

They just opened a Starbucks across the street from a Starbucks.

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.

That's a very white attitude. You can take a white guy to Africa, and he'd be like, 'Look at all the minorities they got over here. Jesus!'

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.