The other day I started to take a course in psycho-ceramics. What is psycho-ceramics? It's the study of crackpots.
Quote by Joey Bishop:
Quotes by other comedians
Inside the Pop-Tarts Box there are three pouches of two. This is what happens to me: I open the first pouch, and I eat one tart, and I enjoy it very much, as naturally I would. And then I feel, “Well, I have to eat the second one or it will go stale.” Well, now I’ve eaten two, and it’s no longer just a snack, it’s a meal. I figure I may as well eat two more. And then finally I’m just like, “Well hell, I don’t just want two pop tarts hangin’ out in a box.” I eat the last two just to tidy up, really.
In the suburbs it’s hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?