A woman driver went through a red light. The cop stopped her and said, "Lady, didn't you see that red light?" The woman said, "You've seen one, you've seen them all."
Quote by Joey Bishop:
Quotes by other comedians
Why do they put the little "on/off" words on a light switch? If the light's on, you can see that it's on. If the light's off, it's too dark to see the words on the switch.
There is no "I" in "Team", unless you count the vertical part of the "T".
You go to McDonalds, they don’t even have numbers on the cash register no more. Got pictures of food. If you know what a french fry look like, you become the manager. You the smartest one there.
There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.
No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.