I love Chicago. I got on a bus and asked the driver, "Do you go to the Loop?" He said, "No, I go beep-beep!"
Quote by Joey Bishop:
Quotes by other comedians
I wish they would just call the news: What's Wrong. 'Hi, it's six o'clock, here's What's Wrong. Now for the local news, here's the worst shit that happened the closest to you.'
I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
I like guy stuff.
I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.