Quote by Joey Bishop:

I love Chicago. I got on a bus and asked the driver, "Do you go to the Loop?" He said, "No, I go beep-beep!"

Comedian
Short bio
Joseph Abraham Gottlieb, known professionally as Joey Bishop, was an American entertainer who appeared on television as early as 1948 and eventually starred in his own weekly comedy series playing a talk/variety show host, then later hosted a late night talk show with Regis Philbin as his young sidekick on ABC.

All quotes by Joey Bishop

Quotes by other comedians

I wish they would just call the news: What's Wrong. 'Hi, it's six o'clock, here's What's Wrong. Now for the local news, here's the worst shit that happened the closest to you.'

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

I like guy stuff.

I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.

If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.