Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?
Quote by Johnny Carson:
Quotes by other comedians
The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. I wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. Obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage.
Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.