Quote by Johnny Carson:

It was so hot today I saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea.

Comedian
Short bio
John William Carson was an American television host, comedian, writer, and producer. He is best known as the host of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carson received six Emmy Awards, the Television Academy's 1980 Governor's Award, and a 1985 Peabody Award.

All quotes by Johnny Carson

Quotes by other comedians

And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.

They're putting the cart before the horse on this pornography issue. Playboy doesn't cause sexual thoughts. There are sexual thoughts, and, therefore, there is Playboy. Don't you see? I know these sound like deep philosophical questions, "What came first, the hard-on or the Madonna video?" and "If a hard-on falls in the forest, do you go blind?" and "What does an atheist scream when they come?"

It's like a sort of internet Ren Fair. Its like Dungeons & Dragons but for cool people who have got friends.

Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.