Quote by Johnny Carson:

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Comedian
Short bio
John William Carson was an American television host, comedian, writer, and producer. He is best known as the host of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carson received six Emmy Awards, the Television Academy's 1980 Governor's Award, and a 1985 Peabody Award.

All quotes by Johnny Carson

Quotes by other comedians

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

Tom Cruise shouldn't try to win Oscars. He should just smile and kick people in the face and leave the acting to Hugh Jackman. Why Hugh Jackman? I dunno; come up with your own example, smart-ass.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

My horoscope was so depressing today, it included a list of poisons.

A kid asked me for advise about getting into entertainment? I said you better know how to be happy being broke!