If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
Quote by Jon Stewart:
Quotes by other comedians
The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles... they don't have one that says 'oops.'
During the second world war Pope Pius the 12th was supposed to apologise not apologise, he was supposed to castigate Hitler for being a genocidal fuck-head with bunny rabbit ears. Um, but he didn't say that; he wimped out, and he's been renamed now, as Pope Gutless Barstard the first.