Quote by Jon Stewart:

Yon Kippur. Greatest Jewish holiday ever. The Jewish day of attonement. You don't ear for one day, all your sins for the year are wiped clean. Beat that with your little "Lent." What is Lent? Forty days of absolution. Forty days to one day. Even in sin you're paying retail.

Comedian
Short bio
Jon Stewart is an American comedian, writer, producer, and television host. He hosted The Daily Show, a satirical news program on Comedy Central, from 1999 to 2015. Stewart started as a stand-up comedian but branched into television as host of Short Attention Span Theater for Comedy Central.

All quotes by Jon Stewart

Quotes by other comedians

I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.

I know that every time I list something that I am, I am potentially alienating a whole group of people. Publicists and managers will encourage you not to say what political party you belong to, what you eat, what you don't eat, who you sleep with and all that stuff.

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

I say at this point, for different reasons, Bush and Hussein are both very threatening to world peace and to deny that is to be incredibly naive.