Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.
Quote by Jonathan Winters:
Quotes by other comedians
Whenever someone starts a statement with, "Let me tell you the kind of guy I am," that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
God was havin’ himself a good day when he made boobs. He must’ve stepped back from Eve and said, "Yes ma’am! Those’ll work."
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.
My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn't a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
Ya know, if you treat every comic the way you treated me tonight, you would never see a bad show.