If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to meet it.
Quote by Jonathan Winters:
Quotes by other comedians
The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
I always tell my kids to cut a sandwich in half right when you get it, and the first thought you should have is somebody else. You only ever need half a burger.
I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life.