Quote by Kevin James:

There, there's your skin-flap. That piece that looks like my ass caught fire and somebody put it out with an old t-shirt is yours.

Comedian
Short bio
Kevin James is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and producer. He is best known for his role as Doug Heffernan on the CBS sitcom The King of Queens, for which he was nominated for a 2006 Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series.

All quotes by Kevin James

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When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. Buy my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

I like the beach. I like to get there really early before everyone else shows up and take like thirty bottles with notes in them and throw them into the water. Then I wait for everyone to come to the beach and when someone goes to pick up one of the bottles, I go up behind them because when they open it there’s a note saying ‘I’m standing right behind you.’

You might be a redneck if you've ever taken an RV to a drive-in movie.

Christine Todd Whitman had to resign as the head of the EPA; you know, when the governor of New Jersey decides the environment is hopeless, you gotta really think that one through.

Our job is improving the quality of life not just delaying death.