Quote by Kevin James:

Love the questions at the airport because they make you feel real intelligent. "Sir, do you know what's in your luggage?" "No. I tied a sock around my eyes and packed with my feet. I'm thinking hot dogs and gunpowder."

Comedian
Short bio
Kevin James is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and producer. He is best known for his role as Doug Heffernan on the CBS sitcom The King of Queens, for which he was nominated for a 2006 Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series.

All quotes by Kevin James

Quotes by other comedians

Before the invention of the telephone, you had to lie to people to their face!

I was like, 'Have you all heard me talk?' You know, nobody's making Seinfeld live in Indiana.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

My wife and I keep fighting about sex and money. I think she charges me too much.

Political views divide faster than marriages.