I don't want a clean living guy in the White House with his finger on the button. He thinks he's going right to heaven. You want to feel safe with a leader. Give me a guy who fights in bars and cheats on his wife. This is a man who wants to put off Judgment Day as long as possible.
Quote by Larry Miller:
Quotes by other comedians
I don't know why I made the raccoons Irish, but it works.
My wife said to me 'I hope you win... but if you do and you go up and say you love me, don't think it makes up for never saying it when we're alone.'
Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.