Quote by Lewis Black:

And then the other CEOs would gather and they'd go, "Who's that?" "Who's that? That, my friends, is my very esteemed personal ball washer. What did you guys buy? Another car? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Comedian
Short bio
Lewis Niles Black is an American stand-up comedian, author, playwright, social critic, voice actor, and actor. He is best known for his angry demeanour and belligerent comedic style, in which he often simulates having a mental breakdown.

All quotes by Lewis Black

Quotes by other comedians

The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

In the Roadrunner cartoon, the coyote has been chasing him for 25 years. I'd like to see him finally get right up to him and go "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.

My family wasn’t very religious. On Hanukkah, they had a menorah on a dimmer.

Revivals used to come to town. They would ask who wanted to be saved and I’d march right to the front. It was then I knew I was destined for a career in show business or at least alcoholism.