Quote by Louie Anderson:

I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.

Comedian
Short bio
Louis Perry Anderson is an American stand-up comedian, actor and television host. Anderson created the cartoon series Life with Louie and has written four books, including Hey Mom: Stories for My Mother, But You Can Read Them Too, which was published in 2018.

All quotes by Louie Anderson

Quotes by other comedians

I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.

I can't play no slave. I got three kids, man. How my kids going to respect me if they see me playing a slave? "Little Damon, you get down off that chair before I spank your behind." "Yeah, you weren't so tough when mastuh was kicking your ass."

Funniest thing happened though, you wouldn't believe it, ha, the mannequins came to life. I went insane.

Apparently every man was told to bring three women with them. Sounds like a ho-down.