Quote by Mort Sahl:

If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

Comedian
Short bio
Morton Lyon Sahl is an American comedian, actor, and social satirist, considered the first modern stand-up comedian since Will Rogers. Sahl pioneered a style of social satire which pokes fun at political and current event topics using improvised monologues and only a newspaper as a prop.

All quotes by Mort Sahl

Quotes by other comedians

The judge asked, "what do you plead?" I said, "Insanity. Your honor, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?"

You can’t take everything that is offered to you. I pass on a lot of stuff, because I truly believe that I will shine better if I could do it 200 percent rather than do it 80 percent and make it so-so.

Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.

Oh yeah, I’m mentally screwed up for life. But I look good.

I'm not really a music guy.