I was just following the corporate manifest, but at the premiere my sister punched me in the stomach. I thought, 'This doesn't bode well for the public.'
Quote by Paul Reiser:
Quotes by other comedians
While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I'd say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses.
You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.