Quote by Paul Reiser:


I was just following the corporate manifest, but at the premiere my sister punched me in the stomach. I thought, 'This doesn't bode well for the public.'

Comedian
Short bio
Paul Reiser is an American comedian, actor, writer, and musician. He is known for his roles as Michael Taylor in the 1980s sitcom My Two Dads, Paul Buchman in the NBC sitcom Mad About You, Carter Burke in the 1986 film Aliens, and more recently as Jim Neiman in the 2014 film Whiplash and Doug Getty in the Amazon Video series Red Oaks'. Reiser is ranked 77th on Comedy Central's 2004 list of the "100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time".

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While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I'd say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.