Quote by Paul Reiser:


I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women. Now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down.

Comedian
Short bio
Paul Reiser is an American comedian, actor, writer, and musician. He is known for his roles as Michael Taylor in the 1980s sitcom My Two Dads, Paul Buchman in the NBC sitcom Mad About You, Carter Burke in the 1986 film Aliens, and more recently as Jim Neiman in the 2014 film Whiplash and Doug Getty in the Amazon Video series Red Oaks'. Reiser is ranked 77th on Comedy Central's 2004 list of the "100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time".

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Quotes by other comedians

Attempt to get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!

As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it’s like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That’s what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do.

Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are.