Quote by Paul Reiser:

I love coffee. I don’t drink coffee but I love it. I drink tea and I don’t like it. Let me say something about tea. Tea starts out bad and never gets better. You put in honey, cream, sugar, lemon and you still go "Ooh that’s bad!" And the people who make tea know it’s bad. That’s why they give you so many choices. You go into a store and there’s a thousand types of teas. Every herb fruit and spice in every combination. They’re desperate to make this stuff palatable and it almost works. You think, "Wow! Look at this! Apple, cinnamon, mango cherry tea. This should be great. I like all those things... This is going to be just great." You take a sip and go "Nope That’s still very bad."

Comedian
Short bio
Paul Reiser is an American comedian, actor, writer, and musician. He is known for his roles as Michael Taylor in the 1980s sitcom My Two Dads, Paul Buchman in the NBC sitcom Mad About You, Carter Burke in the 1986 film Aliens, and more recently as Jim Neiman in the 2014 film Whiplash and Doug Getty in the Amazon Video series Red Oaks'. Reiser is ranked 77th on Comedy Central's 2004 list of the "100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time".

All quotes by Paul Reiser

Quotes by other comedians

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.

I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.

Bush didn't really win on his popularity last time. He won on scaring people that Kerry might do something stupid like, I don't know, sell the ports to the Arabs.

It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.