Middle names are kind of like vice presidents: It's a fine distinction and certainly an honor, but you're never not aware that someone else got the real job.
Quote by Paul Reiser:
Quotes by other comedians
Italian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. This is why the Vatican is in Italy. If a man can walk across Italy and retain his celibacy, he’s got what it takes to be a priest - or an interior decorator.
I used to have sex with my teachers in exchange for good grades on teacher evaluations.
Credibility lasts about two cycles of bad material, and then you'll probably never get it back. If you let people down, that's really hard to come back from - harder than climbing from nothing to something, even.
The real focus at first is to just become a good stand-up comedian, and then when you get to a certain level, then they allow you to do other things. You feel if you're overwhelmed by something or if you're not.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.