Quote by Paul Rodriguez:

Maybe he's my good luck charm.

Comedian

Quotes by other comedians

Now, I'm no scientist, but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? It's Science.

I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.

I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars.

I got a wedgie coming down from the ceiling in the swing and my leg fell asleep!

There are only two pieces of pussy you're gonna get in your entire life, that's your first and your last.