I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.
Quote by Paula Poundstone:
Quotes by other comedians
My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"
When I've gotten criticism, it's that it's too long, too soft, didn't hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, "What's he doing hitting the government?"
I love John Madden because he makes me feel smart.