It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Quote by Phyllis Diller:
Quotes by other comedians
I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
People on TV suck. If you ever meet somebody from TV, I want you to punch them right in the face. It'll probably get you on TV.
It was a really special winter wasn't it?... if you're a fucking moose! If you've got fur on your nuts it's been a fucking festival!
Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.