Quote by Phyllis Diller:

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

Comedian
Short bio
Phyllis Ada Diller was an American actress and comedienne, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh.

All quotes by Phyllis Diller

Quotes by other comedians

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

Some of you are just lying! There's no way you would let your woman freely see your phone.

Did you ever have the police follow you for so long, that you get suspicious about your own goddamn self? "Maybe I did kill them people."

They could have gotten help for this infertility but they believed that interfering with the reproductive process, even if it was faulty, was anti-God. It was against His plan. It never occurred to them that God may have provided the world with a vast array of very brainy medical types for the very reason of solving problems such as theirs. However, there is one thing that the medical profession cannot do and that is save people from being idiots.