If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.
Quote by Ray Romano:
Quotes by other comedians
James Cagney, who said to Mickey Mouse, "You dirty rat!" Never got a dinner!
I don't want to compare the Republicans to Nazis. I'm just saying, Dick Cheney would have had a nice time in Nazi Germany.
You might be a redneck if you bring your dog to work with you.
The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our flag!
A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.