When you wake up one day and say, “You know what? I don’t think I ever need to sleep or have sex again.” Congratulations, you're ready to have children.
Quote by Ray Romano:
Quotes by other comedians
He missed a shot and got frustrated and accidentally hit himself on the head with his own putter and needed stitches on the course. It was hysterical. He continued playing. He didn't get hurt. It wasn't serious.
Soap's magical. You can have a soapy hand - wash the crack of your ass, right up to your face - and don't moan, because you did it today.
All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.