Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, "Maybe we're white." Never got a dinner!
Quote by Red Buttons:
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Sometimes, like we all do, I look at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I cry. Like a really hard cry like you just watch yourself cry but then you're done and you're just glowing and you're staring at yourself.
I feel like the gods have certainly patted me on the head.
You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to toast a Pop Tart? A minute and a half if you want it dark? People don't have that kind of time? Listen, if you need to zap-fry your Pop Tarts before you head out the door, you might want to loosen up your schedule.
This week Jamie Lynn Spears announced that she's pregnant. I think she should opt for adoption. I would never recommend abortion, unless you've got the punch card filled up, and the eighth one is free.
I think that by staying out of shape at the age of 33 I'm doing myself a huge favor for my future. There will never be anyone commenting on how I've 'let myself go.' I've gone. It's gone. It's not going, it's gone.