Dolly Parton, who said to Mrs. Olson, "Yes, they're mountain-grown." Never got a dinner!
Quote by Red Buttons:
Quotes by other comedians
How do you fall into a lion's den, that is my first question there, you think you would be extra carefull around a den of lions.
Fifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid if you tell a legitimate joke about it. Sure I doubled the number of feminists who hate me, but I also doubled the number of shows I have on TV. No regrets.
Why do they put the little "on/off" words on a light switch? If the light's on, you can see that it's on. If the light's off, it's too dark to see the words on the switch.