Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, "Is all that for me?" Never got a dinner!
Quote by Red Buttons:
Quotes by other comedians
I’ve got a long history of suicide in my family; the good news is it skips a generation, so, if I’m lucky, my kids will kill themselves.
I'm thinking of opening up a motel and calling it "The Sleep and Fuck". Wouldn't that be a good, honest name for a motel, who needs this "Shady Pines"-bullshit? "The Sleep and Fuck"-motel. Get me one of them big neon signs: "Sleep", "Fuck", "Sleep", "Fuck".
Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?
There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.