I'm gonna put five of these where you sneeze.
Quote by Redd Foxx:
Quotes by other comedians
Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. Ok, we can swing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play for you. That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.
If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.
Who wants to blow their husband? You want to blow a guy that you've been dating. And he's mysterious and you suck his cock and go home. Who wants to blow a guy and then go to IKEA with him all day?
I got a brother who calls me Hollywood. Sisters kind of keep their distance. Even my mom is kind of like ahhh with me. Yeah dude, it really sucks. And I wish things were different. Unfortunately, they don't understand everything I go through on a day to day basis to be able to maintain what I'm doing.
Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle.