Quote by Richard Jeni:

The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in "Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire" and the computer will say, "Specify type of goat".

Comedian
Short bio
Richard John Colangelo, better known by the stage name of Richard Jeni, was an American stand-up comedian and actor.

All quotes by Richard Jeni

Quotes by other comedians

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.

Some people take the spelling bee very seriously. These people are called "parents of children in the spelling bee." They're trying to make up for their own childhood of crushed dreams and misspelled words.

It’s our first date but I don’t want to go on a date. I wanted to do it in the daylight with animals so it couldn’t be misconstrued as anything in case he’s the worst.

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.