Life and mental illness aside, the only reason to stay miserable is life or mental illness.
Quote by Richard Lewis:
Quotes by other comedians
And you can't smoke in any of this coffee places. Can't smoke at Starbucks, can't smoke in dunkin' doughnuts... I'm pretty sure coffee was invented by people who were smoking anyways. And they just wanted to invent something so they can stay up late and smoke fucking more! That's my theory. Just ask me or Columbo, he'll back me up on this one.
I just want to put some positive stuff out there. If it works, great. If it doesn't, no problem.
With my old man I got no respect. When he took me hunting he gave me a three minute head start. Then on the way home he tied me to the fender and put the deer in the car.
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Yeah, I had to wear a speedo! And I must have weighed like a buck thirty, lookin' like I was in dire need of a serious turkey dinner. I went out on a limb. I was not Mr. Sexy at all - I was very skinny and boney.