The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
Quote by Woody Allen:
Quotes by other comedians
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
First of all never buy a man a plasma TV until youre married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend.
We do not believe, had he been white, that he would be dead. And when we black folks say to America that we're not going to tolerate it, it's going to stop.
I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.