Quote by Robert Klein:

She's stirring the Yankee Bean Soup – which will cause many absences in the afternoon. It's government surplus, stuff that India rejected, and sent back. Powdered eggs, khaki fish – forget it.

Comedian
Short bio
Robert Klein is an American stand-up comedian, singer, and actor. He had several comedy albums in the 1970s, was nominated for a Best Actor in a Musical Tony Award for 1979's They're Playing Our Song, and has made a variety of TV and movie appearances, including hosting Saturday Night Live twice.

All quotes by Robert Klein

Quotes by other comedians

Boycott shampoo! Demand the real poo!

If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's like bringing Michael Jordan to your basketball team and telling him to just pass the ball and don't shoot.

I saw a can said Pepsi Free and I said "That means it don't have Pepsi in it. That's a Coke." Hog futures; I heard that. Hogs don't have no future. Bacon is not a career.

People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a winner!

It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.